Next step: GREATER and HIGHER.

Rejection may not always be bad, after all. 

Last April 2013, I left my first love. If you have been reading my previous posts, you would notice the agony I had before I decided to leave my former job. It had been a dream to become a professional teacher. And through God's will, I was able to reach that dream. But has it been forgotten since I am no longer a teacher now?

I remember during an interview, the panelist asked me, "Why do you leave teaching when it says in the test you have taken that it is your dream job?" I took a deep breath. I tried to muster all the confidence I have to convince them to believe on my answer. But the more I tried to convince them, the more I felt I am less convinced. Until a thought crossed my mind and I answered, "Yes, it was really hard for me to leave teaching since it was my first love. But just like all human love, I became passionless. And it got frustrating to a point that I felt I was not deserving to stand in front of my students. So before things became worse, I decided to leave. But that doesn't mean that my passion is totally gone. Standing right before them got hard but never inspiring them. Being an educator is not limited to classroom instructions and interactions. I remember what my Language Testing professor once said. A good test also teaches. So I am here, applying for the position with my passion to continuously educate young people through the test items that I am going to make if I will be hired." I don't know if the panelists believed in me but when I answered, I am satisfied. 

The entire process of application to the job I am into right now is not as smooth as the other job applications I had gone through. Before this, I am just a step to being employed. Interviews and exams were attended to and fortunately, I passed them. Employers asked me to come back for the job offer which I declined. I did not take those offers not because I have a high regard of myself. To be honest, these jobs which I applied to were not of my line of expertise nor of my interest. I just decided to try if I can meet their qualifications and good thing, I did. But at the end of the day, I realize where my heart really belongs. I prayed a desperate prayer since I wanted to get hired immediately. I wanted to work since I am not used to not doing anything and not earning at the same time. If I took one of the jobs offered, I could have started working the same month I resigned. But God is so good to let me realize that waiting doesn't have setbacks. Either of these two GOOD things will happen: I get what I wait for or I learn how to be more patient. And so I waited. 

May 21. I was called by the HR officer of NETRC- DepEd for an exam. So I went to the office. It is really far from my place but it is worth the sweat. I spent 4 hours taking the exam. It was harder than the professional exam I took. After taking it up, I felt tired and exhausted. I also felt I may not be able to pass it but I prayed for God's work in my exam paper. Two weeks after, the officer called me again, this time for an interview. I was expecting that the interview would be less stressful as compared to the exam. But lo and behold, it was a nerve wracking experience. I faced 5 interviewers- all intimidating. Maybe it is because they are the oldest interviewers I get to deal with. Whenever they ask questions, I felt I had to give them an answer from a Miss Universe candidate's perspective. The good thing about the panel is that when I answered their questions, they were responsive. I felt they were impressed at some of my responses but to some answers, they were not. After the interview, I thought it was going-home time. But another stage was given. I was asked to construct test items for different competencies. Good thing, the topics given were the topics I enjoyed the most. So the last part was not as stressful as the interview. I was called the following day for the final interview. At last, this is the last part. I didn't know what kind of final interview I am going to undergo but my heart had less expectations this time. I went to the office with sweaty palms, weak knees and heavy arms. I was nervous and I didn't understand why. I wanted to bash all the things in front of me just to ease away the feeling. When it was my turn to speak to the directress, I stuttered. I even had my mind blanked. But with the grace of God, I was able to answer her questions which I'd like to believe impressed her. And so I was asked to proceed to the conference room. There, I waited along with the 4 applicants. We didn't know why we were asked to wait so we seized the moment to get to know each other and talk about the hell we've gone through during the entire process.

After an hour of waiting, we were presented with a piece of paper which was actually the contract. I praised God immediately upon holding it. It is a high paying job. I can say I am earning more than an entry level call center agent does. But aside from the salary, what I am more thankful for is the job itself. I could say that I get to continue pursuing my dream of educating young people- this time through the test that I will make/modify. It is far more fulfilling. 

I resigned. I rejected. I rested.

But that doesn't mean I ended my story. 

I resigned because I know God asked me to stop before things get worse.

I rejected because I believe God asked me to drop good things and start picking up better things.

I rested because I look forward to God's greater plans for me. 

I'll be starting on July. And God's grace be upon me.